My marriage sometimes exhausts me!?

For the most part we have a really good marriage. We are each others best friends. We have 2 beautiful little boys, he works full time outside the home and I am a full time house wife/stay at home mom. Our time together sometimes is slim because of his crazy work schedule, and so time alone together is a big issue sometimes, Our sex life is pretty good considering our hectic schedules and the lack of time that we get. We laugh and act silly together all of the time when we are able to spend time. But, here's the thing, I am the more emotionally involved one in our relationship. I have been from day one. We have had some issues in the past that almost broke us up, And we have separated once before. And I am always the one who is bending over backwards trying to fix things when they do go wrong. When we are doing great together, my husband shows his emotional side, and it's nice to see him actually care, but when we have problems, arguments or disagreements, I am always, always the one who wants to talk and work to try and fix it. And he is always the one, who when it gets heated wants to get mad, yell, say mean and cruel things like he doesn't care and telling me maybe we should just call it quits. Over an argument or disagreement?? And it is completely exhausting to me. I am always busting my butt to try and find a resolution that makes both of us happy, and if I can't then I am always the one to cave in and just give up my stand on the situation at hand. To me there isn't anything, (short of lying, cheating, and abuse of course) that is worth us giving up on what we have together here. If it were not for me working to keep it together during hard times, we wouldn't be plain and simple. And I have no idea how to get him to see that I can't keep saving us all on my own? If that makes sense.. It's not like we fight over crazy stuff, it's typical, money issues, lack of time to spend together, family, he plays video games a lot and that gets crazy sometimes, but nothing that is reason to split up over, so I am confused as to why he is always ready to jump from the pan and straight in to the fire sort of speak during an argument. How can I get him to understand that he needs to want to work together with me to help fix our problems when they arise instead of jumping straight to maybe we need time apart? After it's all said and done and the disagreement is over he will then come to me, and tell me that he loves me and it was a stupid fight and he doesn't want to lose me.. Its just so exhausting.. Anyone else have this problem? How do you deal with it? How should I deal with it?