Okay so I'm in this 3yr relationship and I'm going to explain the major events that has happen and how I'm con?

This has been the first real relationship I've been in. I was 16 when I met him and he was 19. I was a virgin and he had been with 7 other girls which wasn't a problem for me, I just think it serves as a purpose later. I had one really best friend and were still friends and I don't blame her but I think he basically cheated on me. He don't call it cheating. We were all drinking but I wasn't around at the time and she went to piss but couldn't zip and button her pants apparently, so he did it for her. He had also kissed her but he said he pushed her away and she seemed to keep grabbing his package which I don't think would of happen if he was pushing her away. In my opinion he should have never let her get that close. This was about 3-6 months in the relationship. I got over it and forgave but didn't forget. Now he has an issue with like looking at other girls which I have gotten mad about but only when he kinda took it too far. He had never flirted with a girl in front of me but I'm sure he has behind my back. Lets see...after a year of being together I noticed an aggressive side of him where he had shoved me when I was walking away when we had a disagreement. Now when I graduate from high school, I got my first job and it kinda went downhill from there. I began to realize that I didn't need my bf if he was going to continue to throw his fits and verbal abuse me. So I broke it off with him for about a month but within this month I started liking a co-worker and had a sexual relationship with him but nothing ever became of that but my bf got pissed that I had sleep with someone else which I didn't honestly see a problem with what I did wrong. So we got back together cause I decided to give him another chance and I realized I didn't want anyone else anyways. Within this time I had guy friends which he was not cool with and it caused a lot of problems. We then broke up again about 4 mo later because I hung out with a guy friend and didn't tell him about it but it was only a friend and nothing happened between us when I saw him. Til this day he believes I cheated on him but I didn't. So when we broke up I was like well if your going to get mad over something like that then forget you plus i was thinking about everything else topped onto that. I started dating this same guy friend which now i know it made me look bad and like i was cheating on him but i swear that i didn't. Anyways, that relationship was only for a month because i still wanted to be with my ex and that's all i ever thought about. We did get back together a month after the previous relationship and i found out he had slept with 2 more girls which he said was to get over me but I had no reason to be pissed so I left it in the past. He brings up mine all the time tho. He drinks quite a lot and becomes a prick. And he is very verbally abusive to me. He has always called me a *****(which I hate) but he has started calling me a whore, ****, immature, and stupid. Now he had told me he doesn't know what he wants and then we I'm deeply over it and ready to move on, he tells me he'll be better not only for me but for himself and he wants to be with me. Now I do know that he had a taste of the single life and it makes him confused about what he wants cause now he knows he can get other girls again and he don't know if he wants to give it up. So that leaves us where we are now and he got drink shoved me and I fell, verbally abused me once again, and told me the reason he checks out other girls is because he wants to see if he'd like there pussy is what I believe was he exact words. Now I packed me **** and he told me he was sorry(which he does a lot...really a lot) and said he didn't want me to leave and he loved me but he still kept telling me he didn't know about things and continued to verbally abuse me. So I went to his friends house and got advice and he showed up that guy told him to basically straighten up and here we are, fine, but I feel like I don't have his commitment and I'm scared of being heartbroken. But I'm just confused about how he is up and down a lot and was wanting some more advice???